That Kind of Scary Awkward
by periberi
Summary: Shinji and Takako share their most awkward conversation yet. AU Shinji/Takako implied
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** That Kind of Scary Awkward

**Summary**: Shinji and Takako share their most awkward conversation yet. Three-part; Shinji/Takako implied

**Rating**: T

**Genre**: Humor

* * *

So Shinji Mimura was exactly crept out at Takako's weird behavior of zoning out.

He would rather want to think she was just staring at him all day, yes please—because that was how it was actually, as he had been looking back at her too—but there was something in her eyes in all that staring that even in something over-the-number-of-the-days-in-a-month worth of dating, he was not quite sure how to take.

So he was exactly crept out, especially with the fact that she was sporting the same _bored? disinterested?_ look again as they gobbled up dinner later that day. Well, to put it more rightly, as he gobbled up his dinner and hers waited cold.

He then tried asking.

"So," he mused in between couple of bites, "you're zoning out."

Takako's head was leaning on the wall, her arms were crossed across her chest, and her eyes were staring straight ahead.

Shinji was getting impatient, so he snapped his fingers directly on Takako's face.

"What?" she asked, oblivious that Shinji had apparently asked a question.

Said man was not exactly known for his patience except probably for matters which involved her. She was a pretty little exceptional case on his head. That was why, saying that Takako was already fucking his wits meant that he was really _really_ on his edge.

This scenario was such a case.

"_Sweetheart_, you are zoning out," he repeated, slowly, and his eyes darted a knowing look, "you can tell me…_sweetheart_."

"No."

And folks, that was a flat out no. She declined him as fast as the speed of light and he was beyond pissed. The ache on his muscles from all that shooting practice was also not helping his cause at all.

"Something is bothering you, I can tell," he says as a matter-of-factly, leaning on his chair as if to say, 'this is serious business'.

"Well, that shouldn't mean it should bother you as well," Takako snapped back, her attention finally on her food after fifteen minutes of…staring.

"Spill," Shinji said with a sigh, "it's not like I shouldn't know that, right?"

Takako pointed her chopsticks to Shinji's face, "Unfortunately for you, you _really_ shouldn't know."

Shinji scowled. He resumed his eating but not without a passing remark that he knew would sure press the first button to her anger scale. Shinji being the mighty idiot that he was known for, said with all reeking stinking sarcasm intended, "But _of course_, this is something Sugi will know even though it's really all about me, _yes_."

Takako dropped her sticks so loud; Shinji had to look at her to assure himself that that was a pair of chopsticks, _wooden_ chopsticks, and not the succession of three plates falling on the cemented floor. He looked up and she was grinning. It was not a good sign.

That was never a good sign.

"You need to trust me on this Mimura," her grin widened, "You're going to thank me for it, fucktard."

Shinji smiled back at her, his lips flat and totally sarcastic that said, 'I am not amused'. Takako only leaned back on her chair and Shinji was pissed because _you know those situations when people think you shouldn't know even though you should and they don't tell you because they think you're stupid enough not to understand?_ Well, that was how he was feeling right now. Well, he was stupid too but…

Chances were, Takako was right. She ultimately would be. By history, there wasn't a time yet that she was like this on him that had not had a good back-up reason. Maybe he really shouldn't know. But if he pressed on further and risked knowing and pissing her off in the process, it might promise him good rewards.

Especially if he was going to take that one specific incident as reference; that incident when Takako also kept something from him but apparently she was just embarrassed out of the galaxy to suggest that they visit that newly renovated love hotel down by the district.

And because everybody knew how much of an official moron Shinji Mimura was in all things involving Takako Chigusa, he was immediately motivated by this fact even though historical statistics pointed out that the probability of such a case to occur again was one to ten…_billion_.

Boy could try.

But before he could speak out his very well-thought opinion, yeah right, Takako opened her mouth to speak. As if she was proving her earlier point, she added, "If you dare fucking ask me again, Shinji, I'm going to spill and don't whine when I'm done because I fucking warned you."

Oops. There went his resolve.

Actually, technically, there went _some_ of his resolve.

Takako stared at him, obviously waiting for his reply. She was chewing slowly and Shinji raised one of his eyebrows in mock concern. And then he grinned.

"I'd take my chances."

They usually settled their arguments this way, some for transparency matters, some for compromise, some just because both of them were type-A personality people and had competition in their blood boiling like oil.

It was all about winning and losing for fun, sometimes with great stakes on their end, and we should all know by now that by history, Shinji Mimura never won.

* * *

"I slept too little."

Shinji wrinkled his brows in reply, "You are zoning out because you slept too little?"

Takako rolled her eyes, "I slept too little so I was cranky and I was cranky so I was zoning out," she smacked him lightly on the head, "can you let me finish?"

Shinji leaned back on his chair and motioned for her to continue.

"I slept too little," when Takako said this, she averted her eyes downward and continued, "because I watched videos."

_You know hun, I'd hate to burst your pretty little shiny bubble, that's not much of a newsworthy event_, Shinji thought inside his head. His silence prodded her to speak up more.

By that time, Takako was swirling her spaghetti curls on the red spaghetti sauce on her plate, "Ayako had some videos rented and they were by the floor so I thought I'd strain my eyes to sleep."

By this time, everyone reading should be asking, _porn?_ Shinji was thinking along the same lines, _by the way_; or more appropriately, _of course._

When Shinji gave her a suggestive look adorned with that malicious smile of his, Takako scrunched her nose in disgust, "Not porn. I've had enough of my lewdness dosage from you, thank you."

Disappointed that she would not be sharing some new sexual positions to try on their next sexcapade, Shinji just shrugged and Takako continued her as-of-now-not-really-interesting story.

The interest perked up when she said, "They were about the reproductive system."

However, Shinji, the moron that he was, only face palmed, "_Babe_, no offense or anything but yes, you're a dork," he reached out to her and patted her head affectionately, "but that doesn't take out anything."

"If you're worrying I'd kill myself when I'd find out, no worries, _babe_. You're still my girl." And then he smiled.

His smile faltered however, when he saw that distinct tint on her cheeks and her eyes were opened wide.

What the hell, he complimented her more than what he said just now. Most of them were said in bed, but in the height of his lust, he knew them to be true and he was not lying or anything. He did crazier things to proclaim his loyalty too that he knew, so yeah, _what the fucking hell_, Shinji mused.

Takako avoided his eyes and cleared her throat, "You don't get it."

Shinji sighed, "Well, I don't—"

"—**babies**."

If Shinji had any idea before about her problem (and now it really was a problem), he would completely and utterly denounce all of them now. Something told him he was bound to not like what she was about to say, at all, but he would most likely not have a choice but to hear them anyway.

"Chigusa, you are being _weird_."

"Mimura, I warned you."

They looked at each other for a moment, and Shinji had either wanted the ground to swallow him whole or Shuuya Nanahara's optimistic spirit to possess him to save his sanity.

Especially when Takako added, "I would rip your ears out if I have to, so don't bother running for your escape, you stupid."

Yes he was being stupid, and to prove Takako's point (or he was really just being optimistic), Shinji replied, welcoming the conversation to continue,"Babies are..._fat._"

And that did not make any sense at all whatsoever.

Takako only looked at him and noticing his demise, decided to shrug, "Yes, most of them," and she thought that was also a rather stupid thing to say but then, "I watched more videos of them on Youtube after."

Shinji gulped. He really did not like the way this conversation was heading.

"Didn't feel like I was sleep-deprived at all really, I had good dreams—"

"—about?—"

"—_cuddly_ things," for some reason, Takako flinched at using the B-word. Shinji on the other hand, looked like he could use some help.

Takako looked so adorable in Shinji's eyes and he had to groan. It was all he could do to stop himself from pulling her face to his in the way she was shyly (because she never really got shy, except for a few things as mentioned) telling him about her dream that involved cuddly things and, "—_adorable_ things…"

Shinji gulped again, allowing his eyes to stray towards the painting on the wall as Takako continued for the last time and finally said, "…_cute_ things."

Cute?! FUCKING CUTE?! She never knew what was cute. Shinji would bet she never knew that existed! Not that he did know, but hey!

Unconsciously for both of them, they both heaved a silent sigh and they remained silent afterwards.

"Well, I would like for you to always have a dream-filled sleep, hun."

He was losing his touch with words, but no one could blame him properly, as Takako flashed him a small smile that told him she remembered her cuddly, adorable, cute things-filled dreams.

"Babies…"

She said it almost inaudibly that he swore he could still deny whatever happened. If God would let him, he would actually. Takako sure knew how his mind worked, how he would effectively lose if he prodded her to tell things she deemed not right for him to know, and now she was right.

Shinji only managed to shrug. There wasn't any conclusion at all to why she was zoning out, on _him_ especially, or whatsoever, but he was grateful that at least he would not be scarred by the first surge of Takako's motherly instincts.

Or wait.

"_They_ had _your_ face."

His drink spilled over, and shock suddenly acquired the most understated emotion award, "_MY_ face?!"

No, more importantly, "_THEY_??!"

Fortunately Takako understood what her revelation must have brought upon her man.

This was a fat, rare, once-in-a-blue-moon coated with parmesan cheese chance—Takako then only smiled sheepishly at Shinji and offered, "At least they'd make good genes?"

And then she smirked. And then she smiled sadistically. And both of them remained silent for a good while, food all forgotten.

He was waiting for her to say, 'JUST KIDDING' but when she did not; he only resorted to having a new drink.

God, he really needed it.

"I'm going to get a drink," Shinji said, standing up.

"Add me some hot taro pie and a sweet and sour dip," Takako chimed in.

Shinji shot her a horrified look and he cursed his life.

By babies and everything cute and cuddly and adorable in this universe, he hoped against hope that at least for now, so help him God, she was _not_ pregnant.

And his most important conclusion was, overhyped sexual libidos were never a good thing. He never thought this day would come but newsflash, it just did.

**TBC**

* * *

**A/N**: Just a threeshot, really. Thank you to **SkyLilies**, **Myahra**, **jenizaki**and **imjuzakyd** for reading Something Rhetorical. Can't do something as long as that for now, but I have something cooking aside from this.

Sometimes I wonder when my BR muses would stop attacking me, but as long as they're here, I'm not really complaining especially if Shinji and Takako as my OTP goes up to that GREAT EPIC OTP LIST.

Unbeta'ed because that's how things roll, sorry for any OOC-ness, grammar yadda yadda yadda, you know the drill. Story is pure speculation on my part on how Shinji would (over)react on a pregnancy scare.

Or is it? *snickers*

Read and review, cheers!

EDITED: Trent Foley, thank you for the review. It made me strive to become ~better~. /sarcasm


	2. Chapter 2

**Title**: That Kind of Scary Awkward

**Summary**: Shinji and Takako share their most awkward conversation yet. Shinji/Takako implied

**Rating: **T

**Genre: **Humor

* * *

That afternoon, Shinji Mimura called for an emergency meeting.

But, "What the hell for is an emergency meeting?" asked Shuuya Nanahara who was sitting on a big rock near a big tree, waiting for the so-called emergency meeting to commence.

At first, he was fine with that really; after all, it had been three days since he last saw Hiroki, two since he last saw Yutaka and one since he last saw Yoshitoki (duh, of course they were roommates). He could forgive the retarded meeting place, supposedly, in exchange for a little chit-chat with his best buddies.

He even thought that it was rather funny, or cool, or awesome—meeting with your bros incognito like they were some sort of yakuza—but soon the laughter died in his throat when after thirty minutes of the supposed meeting time, yakuza boss Shinji Mimura was still nowhere in sight and Shuuya was already feeling the weariness of having your ass split into butt cheeks on top of a rock.

So now Shuuya just resorted to whining about this emergency meeting, and about the shape of the moon that night, the colors of the leaves (he preferred green over brown) and the roots of the tree where the rock was situated. Oh, and the noisy birds too.

"You know, Mim could've picked a better place than this," complained Yoshitoki, agreeing on Shuuya's sentiments unknowingly while running his hands on his hair. He looked at Hiroki who glanced at his watch.

"Well, he wanted secrecy," said Hiroki with a shrug.

"Secrecy doesn't mean a fucking graveyard from where I was born," Shuuya stood and sighed, "ugh, that guy's taste is really _something_."

Yutaka, who was reading The Top Ten Signs of Pregnancy on a parenting magazine only replied, "But fear not, Shinji Mimura's taste on girls is pristine."

Shuuya huffed, "With the high exception of Takako Chigusa," but sensing Hiroki, he then added, "Oops."

Hiroki eyed him warily, "You think I would let that pass?"

Shuuya gulped. Even though he was both good friends with Shinji and Hiroki, Takako and he weren't exactly friends. Admittedly, he was irked at the idea that his two best buddies worshipped her like she was Buddha's wife. But since he was always at the losing end anyway, by practice, Shuuya Nanahara should know that thou shall not use the name of Buddha's wife in vain.

A moment of silence passed, and…

…Hiroki only shrugged, "Well, lucky you Shuu, I will."

Now that was news.

Shuuya looked at him, horrified. He gulped another time. When Hiroki only raised his eyebrows in concern, Shuuya answered in a small voice, "What's the catch?"

To which, Hiroki only opted to sigh in response.

"Takako is—I don't know. She is weird these days."

"Now that's something I don't know especially if my fondest memory of her was last Christmas when she gave me a thong," said Shuuya.

"At least she gave you one?" chimed Yutaka.

"Guys, listen," intervened Hiroki, "I really think Mim's in deep trouble this time around…Takako-related-wise."

"Damn straight Sugi, but I'll be fine without having the whole school know, whatya think?"

As always, Shinji Mimura never failed to give an astounding entrance.

Shuuya was about to hug him in relief at his arrival when Shinji sprinted towards them, obviously in a hurry.

"I'll keep this short and sweet."

The boys got their cue and huddled together in the rock where Shuuya was a while ago. Sensing Shinji's serious business face, Shuuya asked, "What's got your nuts in a knot?"

"Takako's special castration service. She doesn't know this is where I meant when I told her I'll go to the gym—"

"—wait, what, she doesn't know about the buildings in the school getting reshuffled?" Shuuya said, albeit a little more sarcastic than intended.

"No, and I'd like to keep it that way, along with my potency and the future generation of little Mimuras—"

And as if on cue, the air between Hiroki and Shinji tensed. Automatically, their eyes met.

Shinji found his voice after a while, "You know _something_."

Hiroki leaned his back on the rock, where Shuuya's ass was on a few minutes ago. But Hiroki never remembered (doesn't mean we wouldn't too). Instead, he continued talking, tapping his nose in deep thought.

"Yesterday I asked her to come with me to buy something in the mall."

There were only the sounds of the crickets…and _'Oh, Takumi, not so rough baby!'_

"Was that Mitsuko?" asked Hiroki, attention diverted a hundred percent.

"Was that _not_ Mitsuko? Or more importantly Sugi, do you want to die?" asked Shinji, impatience evident on his voice.

"Geez, sorry," Hiroki continued, "right, so we—we passed by a baby clothing store."

Yutaka, Yoshitoki and Shuuya looked back and forth at Hiroki and Shinji.

"So this is what you asked me to research this for, Mim?" asked Yutaka, unbelieving.

Shinji gave him the finger and then he sunk to the ground, "Oh Yutaka-san, since you're so smart, you got that right, how about sharing me such a special knowledge huh?"

"Don't piss at me, you're not my daddy…"

Yutaka had that glint in his eyes that would appear only once in a blue moon but even though it was not blue moon, Shinji had the honor to witness it, "…but you will eventually be one?"

Shinji almost hurled him to the ground, if not for Hiroki's mighty strength.

"Now what does it say? Pregnant women have severe bad cases of mood swings."

The basketball ace now stood up to hurl at his friend, but Shuuya effectively stole the magazine from Yutaka.

"Now, let's not overreact. Of course, Takako is _definitely_ and _certainly_ not pregnant."

By the implication on Shuuya's statement that Shinji did not miss, the Third Man's attention (and hurling) was diverted to him instead.

"Mim! I am not—listen! I—she—she was wearing heels last Saturday on the fair remember?!"

Shinji straightened himself. He looked at Shuuya directly, "What's that got to do with anything?"

Shuuya cleared his throat, "Well, it's not advisable for pregnant women to wear heels. They might trip and eventually have miscarriage."

Shinji again straightened himself. He looked at Shuuya more directly, "No, let me rephrase that. How the hell did you know?"

"Yukie told me?"

A streak of horror flashed across Hiroki, Yutaka and Yoshi's faces. Only Shinji remained unfazed. He rubbed his temples and sat on the rock…well, everyone knew what rock that was.

"She's the world's biggest gossip, she should know," Shinji paused, running his hands all over his face, "this is fucking crazy! I'm fucking comforted by the words of the nosiest person in the universe?!"

Shuuya smacked him in the head, "I'm here Mim. Just letting you know. But since I'm the biggest fan of your life, I'll still help you out even if you badmouthed my girl."

"Well, it's not my fault you can't say anything bad about mine."

Shuuya only laughed, "That's blind faith. As for your problem, and I'm now waiting for my congratulations, did you piss Takako off recently?"

Shinji and Hiroki looked at each other and the former answered, "No?"

"Then Mim, list this down as the first bad thing I said about your girl—I'm thinking she's weird, crazy and sadistic that she might be getting back at you by acting like she's pregnant—I'm _sure_ you did something that pissed her off."

Another moment of silence.

"Wow, Shuu, I'm finally rubbing on you. How'd you get that smart?" Shinji clapped him on his back, delighted at the probability that Takako was just really getting back at him for something he had done.

Well, that was not exactly something to celebrate for; if that were true, he would still die by her precious hands. But then at least that meant he would not be celebrating christening, one year old birthdays…

Shinji was feeling pleased with himself at this newfound revelation. He was so well pleased that when Shuuya jokingly suggested, _"Did it ever occur to you that Takako might be rubbing on me instead?",_ he fortunately missed it.

Hiroki on the other hand was left deep in thought. He was tapping his nose repeatedly while Shuuya and Shinji did their thing; it was now almost red as Rudolph's. He was feeling so confused that he wasn't able to stop himself in voicing out his thoughts.

"So what did Takako buy a blue baby sailor suit and matching blue hat for?"

Shinji stopped in his musings and slowly, ever so slowly, looked at Hiroki, ready for the kill.

But Hiroki was still busy tapping his nose when he said, "She even said it was because blue was your favorite color."

Yoshi and Yutaka held hands and prayed for divine intervention for the impending doom.

* * *

Shinji glanced at her.

…

Shinji glanced at her.

…

Shinji glanced at her.

…

And so she was pissed off.

"What the hell is your fucking problem, Shinji Mimura?"

Shinji stopped in his tracks and hurriedly, stood in front of Takako. Said girl only raised her eyebrows irritatingly. Shinji gulped at the thought of her mood swings. Fifteen minutes, twelve seconds ago she was happily eating her ice cream, now she was pissed as hell times ten.

By the way, he timed that so he knew.

But Shinji despite knowing that only hugged her tight, then again Takako was beyond disgusted; he hugged her tight, yes—in the fucking sidewalk. Well, she was not the person to care about what people would say for such public intimacy; if anyone got a pretty boyfriend, what exactly was wrong with flaunting especially if he was head over heels over the hills in love with you?

What she was beyond disgusted at was the fact that in hugging her, the ice cream made a spill on her uniform and on his. She was about to berate him for his clumsiness but stopped herself when Shinji remained silent, his lips buried on the crook of her neck.

"Shinji—"

"Taka!"

Takako was shocked at the urgency in Shinji's voice that she pushed him hard away from her. She could tell he was trying to stay frosty but she knew that face too well—that face reminded her of an adorable kicked puppy, begging for attention, so small, cute, cuddly, like a _baby_—

Takako backed two steps away from him.

Shinji never noticed. Instead, he grabbed her shoulders to hold her steady.

"Do you have something to say to me? Are you in pain? Are you p—erplexed? Are you p—reg--?"

"I'm p—"

Inside, at the almost sound of the syllable 'p', Shinji felt like zombies were eating his brains. _No_, he begged; _she couldn't be, she shouldn't be, she…_

"—issed."

"Wha—?"

Takako threw the ice cream cone at the side, "How dare you mess my uniform! Why are you so stupid?"

She smacked him on the head.

"But—"

She then gave him a not-so-light punch on his arms. That never felt so good; that or he was being a masochist.

"You know what, since your house is round the corner, how about you make yourself useful and give me some nice clothes to wear before I go home?"

He thought it was supposed to be cute, the way he flung his arms again, around her, even at the nasty spill on both their uniforms because he was just so glad Takako was back at being Takako, even if she ordered him around.

When she kicked his groin because he had no fucking intention to move on and make some progress, Shinji thought he could jump the roof in happiness because folks, according to Takako herself, she was not pregnant.

_"So what did Takako buy a blue baby sailor suit and matching blue hat for?"_

Oh, it was for that non-existent cousin of hers. Of course, yes.

Definitely.

Certainly.

Absolutely, he was sure until they reached the front door of his house. And because he was so absorbed in telling Takako all sorts of stories because after all, everything was alright (like how the sun was so bright that day, how the weather was nice, how his onigiri was better than Shuuya's), he did not notice that he went up his room…alone.

Confused but still evidently happy, with the sweetest voice he could muster, Shinji called Takako's name downstairs only to find her having a staring contest with his _just-recently-turned one year old_ cousin by the door (where he apparently left her).

His _just-recently-turned one year old_ cousin then laughed—_adorably, cutely, and cuddly_—and Takako turned to Shinji with **_that_** look on her face.

That kind of scary awkward look that caused him to miss a step in the stairs in an effort to save her from the effect of The Babies on women on their verge of maternal instincts awakening—as he blacked out, he was never that much thankful in his life and the gods that the human body has the ability to remain unconscious.

And to fate also, for such an impeccable timing.

"Shin-ni-chan?"

"Shin-ni-chan—you mean Shinji? He's upstairs…uh no, he fell—he's that person lying on the floor, see?"

* * *

**TBC**

**A/N**: Oh man, Takako is such a sadist. But anyway, I had fun writing this and some. One more chapter then it's done. What do you think, is Takako really pregnant or Shuuya will be finally right for once in his life?

Generally, sorry for all the OOC-ness and grammar mistakes. My apologies.

**imjuzakyd**, I love you and I'm sorry for that one line. NEVER MIND THAT PLEASE.

**SkyLilies**, thank you for reading. But girl, imagining Takako with babies and Shinji—SHINJI!!!'s—face on them: I DIE.

**Myahra**, thank you so much dear. And thank you for the support, really.

**hot blankets**, I KNOW. And I agree. He would be? Did you perhaps read the novel to see this side of Shinji?

**jenipunch**, who goes by a new name, you should have your own version! I'll be reading it with more enthusiasm than you can imagine! And yes to Shinji sim impregnating Takako sim!

**Trent Foley**, you can try flaming me harder dear. I haven't cried yet. But don't you think that's such a sad way of living your life? Know what, try reading the Hunger Games book, it's like Battle Royale. I hope you'll enjoy it. Hell, we can even fangirl/boy together, whatya think?

Read and review? Cheers!


	3. Chapter 3

**Title**: That Kind of Scary Awkward

**Summary**: Shinji and Takako share their most awkward conversation yet. Shinji/Takako implied

**Rating: **T

**Genre: **Humor

There were quite a few ways to make an ordinary woman shut her trap—kissing her senseless _or_ groping her senseless_ or_ teasing her senseless—any of the three would work just fine, Shinji Mimura knew.

Then, there were quite a few ways to make Takako Chigusa shut her trap—kissing her senseless _and_ groping her senseless _and_ teasing her senseless—and wow, she really was a hard woman to please even in bed, so Shinji Mimura groaned.

And so in order to compensate for the discrepancy of her oh-so-high and mighty expectations and Shinji Mimura's pleasuring ability (which was usually _over_ the benchmark), said man kept on grinding and gyrating in/on her until her eyelids would cease their fluttering and he'd know she was already on full time turbo blast orgasmic ecstasy.

On the _top_ side of the bed, Takako's eyelids were almost ceasing their fluttering (much to Shinji's delight) and so she was aware that in no time, she'd be on full time turbo orgasmic ecstasy. Takako inhaled—_heavily_—and gazed at the clenching of the muscles on Shinji's face before her eyelids gave away and finally sealed shut (definitely yes, in full time turbo orgasmic ecstasy).

Both of them, in the heat of the moment, were engrossed in their own thoughts.

When they would have sex like this—_beastly_, for the lack of a better word—it usually meant either one of them was frustrated, or either one of them was horny, or either one of them was both horny **and** frustrated, or Takako jumped on Shinji, which was usually the case.

He was supposed to be the lewder one, Takako thought, moaning loudly, but ironically she did jump on him the moment he regained his consciousness. Then again she was not usually this impulsive; she could hold her ground against her libido but this time around, it fucked her over with no pun intended.

That wasn't a bad thing actually. Sex with Shinji was always Superb—Takako lost her train of thought for a moment as Shinji's hands traveled Somewhere South—but what made it bad was the fact that this was not part of The Plan—_but ooh fuck, good going on those hands._

Takako tried to relax, but she suddenly felt like she was running on the track, on a district race—_faster and faster_—and she was already approaching the finish line, leaving all the losers behind (in her mind, some of them had the faces of the girls Shinji fucked before; on how she knew that was a story of another day). The mental image of herself—sweaty, pumped and energized racing through the finish line while Shinji_ fit_ (haha, oops, nice one, I'm a genius, Takako thought) in/on her reality was too good to resist that she had to keep going until the end—fuck The Plan.

And yes, she was; she was going, going and going insane at the pressure of everything that was happening. Her fingernails dug on Shinji's shoulders and she raked them across his muscled chest; the finish line was_ coming_ to her view, and she was_ coming _towards it and victory was coming to her that she shouted...

"Shinji! **_Baby_**!"

...like the victorious woman she was feeling.

Except that oh yes it was victory, albeit it was short-lived as a switch on her mind suddenly broke and her eyes snapped open, fearing the appearance of The Look on Shinji's face—and there it was, with the gradual slowing of his pumping much to her dismay.

His eyes bored into her and normally she wouldn't have fazed from it. But his gaze was intent and he looked like a horrible robot pumping in/on her with his eyes not even blinking, fixated on slowing the rate of the pumping or probably his shirt dangling atop the ceiling fan.

Shinji finally stopped and Takako felt awkward sitting in/on him, she wasn't actually sure, but she really couldn't move a muscle either to ease herself out or speak a word. He still wasn't blinking.

Takako coughed her words out, "...I'm going off you now."

Shinji grunted a little when their joints finally disconnected; Takako settled herself on the other side of the bed, covering herself in a blanket for fake modesty and curling in a _strikethrough_ fetal _strikethrough_ comfortable position.

She tried not to look at Shinji, who was probably still amazed at his dangling shirt, eyes on the ceiling and subtly blinking from time to time. Admittedly, she really liked looking at him post-sex—the unclenching of the muscles on his jaw, or the trace of sweat coming from his damp hair, down to his temples, to his neck—

"Are you pregnant?"

Takako snapped from her not so subtle ogling and she was surprised at the audacity of her voice when she answered, "No."

The next thing that happened surprised her even more, as Stay Frosty Please Fuck Me Shinji Mimura literally _wailed_, **"THEN WHY?"**

Miffed at the sound of his voice mimicking that of a grilled-alive pig burning towards its death in a pyre, Takako shut her eyes (and her ears). Yes, she knew she was going too far with The Plan. But she wanted to make a point across. The thing was, for someone as analytical, pragmatic with a strategic mind of a smartass as Shinji; it would be very hard to explain _that_ point. She tried to formulate the words in her mind to explain herself while not sounding too idiotic.

"I wanted us to go on sex abstinence."

Well, she tried her best.

But how can someone hide idiocy when it was idiocy and some more in itself?

"Sex abstinence?"

Takako kept silent. Shinji was suddenly doubling in laughter that the bed shook violently; and wailing Shinji suddenly became Once Upon A Time. She kicked him out of the bed.

"...ARE YOU SERIOUS?"

It was Takako's turn to death glare.

Shinji choked on her own laughter, trying to stop, "Alright, alright. That was some joke, _baby_."

By then, Takako was over the border annoyed that she sat on the bed in an instant. It was a childish thing to do, but she charged her pillow directly on his laughter-contorted face.

"I was serious!"

"Coming from the same girl who jumped on me when I just got back Hello World? Hardly," retorted Shinji, with a smirk and a snort all at the same time.

Takako pouted. "Just this once!"

"Just for always—"

"But you make me jump you!"

"I'm made to be jumped on! There's no going against my nature, I'd die!"

At the helpless look on Takako's face with no smart ass response to boot, Shinji howled again in laughter, muttering "sex abstinence, huh?" while going on a roll for the hay again.

Takako remained silent and plopped beside him in the bed, blowing the hair that covered her face. Shinji turned to her and wrapped said hair on his finger, laughing lightly, "Just so you know, that was epic stupid."

Takako sighed. "I know. I almost had you though."

Shinji propped on his elbows to really look at her this time, "You hardly admit defeat. What's the catch?"

Closing her eyes, Takako told him, "I really wanted to go on sex abstinence. Last week, my body was all sore, because of you and your anytime-anywhere fuckery. And that wasn't even the worst part! At practice, my legs were all fucking hurting and wobbly that I finished last on the mock race." She sighed.

"You mean _that_ practice?"

"Yes! That practice when you were, I don't even fucking know, arm-flexing in the sun I had _no choice_ but to jump on you—"

"And forget you were in the middle of a race—"

"—I sound like a perv. Why did you make me a perv?"

"Because baby," Shinji kissed her temples, "as I told you, there's no going against my nature. I'd die."

"Frankly, I think you were just rubbing on me too much."

"Now?"

Takako elbowed him hard on the stomach, scrunching her nose in disgust. "EWWWWWWWW!"

Although inside her head, that might not really be a bad thing, she still made the motion to stand up.

"Shinji, I really wanted to go on sex abstinence. I am fucking dead serious."

Embracing her in all her naked glory, Shinji only resigned to Takako's wishes, probably even dying a little inside at the adorableness and the stupidity of the whole thing combined, "If you don't want to have sex, then fine. Tell me you're sore or you're not in the mood, whatever rocks your boat, I'd respect that."

Takako looked at him fondly and abruptly shoved him a little too hard towards the bed and away from the glory of her breasts where Shinji's head was resting not a few minutes ago. Takako dressed herself and went into the bathroom, leaving Shinji the opportunity to think.

Alright, he did feel a little relieved that Shuuya Nanahara was right. His pride normally wouldn't normally give in, but he was happy he'd let it pass. Yes, he did something wrong, although technically that wasn't really wrong by right. He was happy to know she wasn't pregnant and that she wasn't on the verge of maternal awakening—okay, sex abstinence was too stupid to be true—but he'd have that any day over anything cute, cuddly and adorable.

To say that he was elated the most at the fact that it wasn't baby-related (he feared he might be scarred for life with the mere mention of the word) was a downright understatement; needless to say, the idea of Takako breathing on mood swings, morning sickness, abnormal hormonal urges and the crave for Little Shinji Mimuras™ was all kinds of scary, awkward and scary awkward he was just so so so happy it wasn't real.

At the exact moment that he arrived at that conclusion, Takako from nowhere, leaped at him like a predator on its prey with a very fierce predatory look on her face.

Shinji ended up on the bed again, shirtless and being straddled with a very determined looking Takako Chigusa. A shocking look was evident on his face.

"What are you on now?"

Takako only smirked at him, "Fuck the sex abstinence!"

What? His usual smart ass reply was already about to roll out of his mouth when it was forcefully shut down his throat again, as she whispered on his hear, "I want **_you_** baby...

...and I want **_your_** baby."

With new motives at hand, Takako began her assault on Shinji's body and even though folks, this usually was a fantastical wet dream; this time it was all but A FUCKING NIGHTMARE.

**THE END**

**A/N**: Took me so long, alright. I lost my touch, sorry, had been busy and all kinds of stuff. Now that I think about it, this story is pure crack. Anything thinking along serious lines should just go jump the window. Pardon the unbeta-ed ness of this fic, and thank you all who came to read, flamed and dropped by! Not sure if I have another Shinji/Takako up my sleeve or any story for that matter, so until then, VAMOS!


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